March 5th, definitely a must see

absolutely indescribable.

There is this person.

She's stares into my

watering eyes.

She nods while I

explain.

She smiles when

I talk about him.

I have this friend

She listens to me.

She knows that I

am trying,

that I am not going to be

insane forever.

I have this saviour

She understands me.

She is honest and truthfully..

would kill for me.

There is this girl

she is beyond and

higher,

She fights battles

while my walls

are caving in.

There is this girl

she is helping me

she is saving me

she is absolutely

indescribable.

...but you get the idea

she's nothing like you.

-feel blue, think green, shine yellow

adventure queen

hollow void

The chaos constantly lingering above

Is trying to make me feel strong

But it’s crushing me

And I’m obviously weak.

And outright lost.

-feel blue, think green, shine yellow

adventure queen

Dream- Priscilla Ahn

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

oh sleep debt, I owe hours of sleep,

in-som-ni-a  
[in-som-nee-uh]

–noun

1. Inability to obtain sufficient sleep, esp. when chronic; difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness.
2. Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time.
3. A persistent and prolonged inability to sleep.

Sleep is a naturally recurring state of relatively suspended sensory and motor activity, characterized by total or partial unconsciousness and the inactivity of nearly all voluntary muscles. It is distinguished from quiet wakefulness by a decreased ability to react to stimuli, and it is more easily reversible than hibernation or coma. Regular sleep is essential for survival.

Types of insomnia
Although there are several different degrees of insomnia, three types of insomnia have been clearly identified: transient, acute, and chronic.

1.Transient insomnia lasts from days to weeks. It can be caused by another disorder, by changes in the sleep environment, by the timing of sleep, severe depression, or by stress. Its consequences - sleepiness and impaired psychomotor performance - are similar to those of sleep deprivation.
2.Acute insomnia is the inability to consistently sleep well for a period of between three weeks to six months.
3.Chronic insomnia lasts for years at a time. It can be caused by another disorder, or it can be a primary disorder. Its effects can vary according to its causes. They might include sleepiness,erectile dysfunction, muscular fatigue, hallucinations, and/or mental fatigue; but people with chronic insomnia often show increased alertness. Some people that live with this disorder see things as if they are happening in slow motion, wherein moving objects seem to blend together. Can cause double vision.

I'm just researching. Another night of tossing and turning, it's truly painful! The eyes hurt but won't close! It is not a fun thing; this fight for sleep! I'm thinking since I've had this problem for a while I'll go ahead and diagnose myself with Acute Insomnia. I mean I'm certainly no expert but, it's comforting having some sort of possible label to attach to this revolting problem I have. Sometimes I find myself unwilling to fall asleep, like it's a waste of time, like I could be doing something more worthy than sleep. Other times I find I am wanting nothing but sleep, but I normally lose that fight! And then there are the nights where I'm thinking sleep would be divine, but my mind is overwhelmingly buzzing with thought it's honestly a joke to even think sleep is possible. Tonight: I would definitely go with the buzzing conundrum. I am tired but not enough to put the thoughts on hold.

Oh do I ever have a debt. I large dark hole I've dug with my very hands. I've given up a lot of hours of sleep, hours I'll never get back. And I did my research, I need sleep to survive. It's not a want, It's a need, an important need. And I haven't slept the hours I'm given, and I haven't paid my z's. I've got a debt of hours of sleep that must be paid off.. sooner than later.

can you keep count?

I've have a jar of pennies

It's real heavy

It's totally full.

I have too many pennies..

too many to count

some old some new.

some rolled nicely

some not.

Why is it that I have

many pennies untouched?

Yet the rest spent.

dimes, nickels,

10's, 20's

even the big reds,

they have no place in my jar.

Why is it that the rest come and

they're spent,

but the jar stays full?

I have this

jar of pennies,

full to the brim...

and it's not going anywhere.

-feel blue, think green, shine yellow,

adventure queen.

Satisfy- Vedera

We were sailing on
I could see the world below
Never thought of coming down
Expectations fell
It seemed as though Our will was no match for the trouble found

Beside You- Marianas Trench

Tears are spent on your last pretense
And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense.

If your heart wears thin I will hold you up
And I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you
Nobody will break you

step by step rejection.

I wouldn't call myself a huge reader, but if you give me a book that strikes my interest, I'll allow it to take over my life. I guess I'm trying to say that I'd most rather be doing something than reading (most of the time), unless I find something I want to read, I will not let it go, I obsess about it. Then I get my hands on the book!... this is the point where I'm either completely unsatisfied or disappointed with things, or I'm absolutely pulled into a new world, and loving every minute of it.

So today, I was actually going to cruise all the way over to Chapters to buy a book. Yes I was going to spend money on the book! I searched it on the Public Library, "not available" it shows on my screen! So I'm at Chapters.. I walk eagerly to the touch screen to search my book, more so eager to play with the screen than to find what I was searching for! I search the title of the book, and it pops up! I was so excited to see it, I gaze down to under the paperback image, and there it is again.. "not available". I am not happy!

So now, I plan to order it online, I will get to read this book, I promise you!

and yes, he did wrong.

"Oftentimes have I heard you speak of one who commits a wrong as though he were not one of you, but a stranger unto you and an intruder upon your world.

But I say that even as the holy and the righteous cannot rise beyond the highest which is in each one of you,

So the wicked and the weak cannot fall lower than the lowest which is in you also."

-Kahlil Gibran

white white white world

Just think,

You're in a room,

Locked in a space.

Door slammed shut,

Blinds covering the window

No light,

No sound,

What colour fills the room?

White.

In fact you squeeze your eyes shut!

What do you see?

White.

Lets think,

It's night,

And your in the middle

Of a street.

The stars are out

You lay down on the

Cold pavement

And stare at the sky

What colour is it?

White.

Now,

It's getting late

And the streetlights

Surrounding you,

Begin to sporadically

Illuminate, yet they only

Seem to dim your

World

Dim the white.

Take a second to think,

What if you were to stand outside

During a bright and sunny day?

And you're laughing and dancing outside.

You turn around slowly to see what's been following you..

You discover your

Clean shadow, so crisp.

Recreating your exact shape

What colour fills in your follower?

Nothing but

White.

Only the innocence of white,

No sign of pretentious

darkness.

-feel blue, think green, shine yellow,

adventure queen

Let it Out

Toes curled

Body tense

And hands in fists

From inside;

A rush breaks through

Pressure building dangerously at the pit of his stomach

Growing and aggressively climbing,

Crawling through his chest

It inflates the boys lungs and suffocates

His throat

Out of control

Fists filled with

Pure tension

Knees locked and

Body charged

He’s ready to slowly release,

But bursts

Within moments

Pain converted to horrible sound

His body quickly deflating

And the boys throat throbbing from

Screaming to the world

His pain filling the careless air

And evaporating to

Nothing

His fists look weaker

His toes seem relaxed

The boys feelings completely split

And the screaming stops

No evidence, no reaction,

All that’s left is a boy

Alone

Empty.

No emotion. Without strain

Numb

-feel blue, think green, shine yellow,

adventure queen

Flower for a Ghost- Thriving Ivory

You disappear with all your good intentions

And all I am is all I could not mention

Like who will bring me flowers when it's over

And who will give me comfort when it's cold

She took a plane to somewhere out in space

To start a life and maybe change the world

See I never meant for you to have to crawl

No I never meant to let you go at all

Don't ever say goodbye

Semester One

Thank goodness! Semester one of grade 11 is finished! The semester actually went by fairly quickly, but the last week of exams has felt like a life time! Math, French and Physics in one semester.. not for me! I'm soo happy its DONE :)!! And now I can have fun, and relax and breathe, until semester two begins!! haha! But I'm looking forward to my construction co-op to begin, so I'm getting eager to start! Anyways, semester one is over, and its now time to throw out all traces of work! See ya!

She's My Saviour

ME, franticly trying to study, totally freaking out at this point, wanting to scream into my pillow!!

HER, totally at ease, because well she's done all of her exams

ME, continuing to scramble, trying to consume as much information as possible the night before the big exam

HER, probably shopping with mama mack NO BIG DEAL.

ME, at this point ready to quit, just absolutely fed up with formulas and equations and what not!

HER, thinking I know just what this girl needs!...Yup! the hottest picture alive!!

ME, completely loving life!

HER, totally knowing she has saved me!

You've got to love her!

In Rainbows

Radiohead's album In Rainbows was released on October 10/07, by no major label. They decided to release it themselves not only in physical form but on the internet as well. Fans were able to go online and listen to a preview of the album online and pay what they thought it was worth. The band said that every previous album had been leaked onto the net, so they decided they would leak it themselves. The alternative rock album was extremely successful in sales, selling more than 3 million copies worldwide in both digital and physical formats. How ridiculous is that!? The band released their album without a label and leaked it before hand, letting their fans pay as they saw fit. The album was awarded Best Alternative Music Album at the Grammy's in 2009. You'd have to have a lot of confidence in your music to be wanting to leak the album before releasing it anywhere else. But it looks like it gained a lot of respect of their fans, and ended up being a huge career turn around for Radiohead.

The Sound of White- Missy Higgins

My silence solidifies,

until that hollow void erases you,

erases you so I can't feel at all.

But if I never feel again, at least that nothingness

will end the painful dream, of you and me...

the big come back..

So, I've been recovering from a knee injury. I dislocated it in the summer( not my idea of a good time) and ended up fracturing my knee cap! This put me out of my sport ( power tumbling) for quite some time. It all happened in Calgary too, where i was without my parents, and most importantly away from my doctor. I had to visit this dude at the Okotoks hospital, where he treated me like dirt, and sent me on my way. Conveniently forgetting to inform me of my fracture! Good times! I then was told by many, to try and move my knee, to get the swelling down, well thats not the BEST plan when you have a broken knee cap, but no one knew. Anyways Long story short I flew home heavily medicated, and ended up getting surgery. I haven't been training since that "incident", although i have been doing loads of rehab!

I am here to announce, that i got the okay from my surgeon to start getting back into things. I'm so excited!! Although i'm not sure if i'll be wanting to compete again, I am so ready to start flipping! I cannot wait to be busy again, and get into shape and RUN!

unremarkable.

"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday."

p.s pretty much my favourite movie. So unique, and so well done. Plus the soundtrack kinda changed my life! haha

White- Lights

Are there oceans... full of things you never say?
Are there skylines... of the cities you don’t see?
Is there music... muted playing underneath?
Is mathematics... keeping you from thinking free?

Hope For Haiti

After watching George Clooney's Hope For Haiti Telethon, I can't stop thinking about it. I can't believe that it was one minute, 60 seconds, that has destroyed that country. Everything was demolished in sixty seconds, so many lives were taken. When I was watching the telethon and they were sharing all the personal stories about the people who had survived the disaster, I found my self absolutely frozen. I just can't wrap my head around how much of a mess it truly is. And the spirit of the people in Haiti who have literally lost everything, is so optimistic. They believe they will get past it, and they will survive the hell that has struck. I hope they do too. For now, I hope people continue to donate, and continue to care about this serious subject, because it's going to be a long time before things get better for Haiti. I bought the Hope for Haiti album, and I am completely in love! And all the profits go towards helping Haiti! BUY THE ALBUM! (on itunes)

www.hopeforhaitinow.org

Imagine...

If I could see my heart?

Watch as it pulses in such

robotic rhythms.

What would I do is I could watch

as my heart races in panic

and beats strongly on

days where it's easier not to beat

at all.

What if my heart

wasn't protected from me?

What if it wasn't locked within

my rib cage,

And was truly shining in

front of me?

Could you imagine if..

I could touch my heart?

Full out feel it with my

bare hands.

What if i held on to the proof of

life..

Stare at my clock,

my anchor to earth.

Imagine if my heart was

simply placed in my two hands..

The single reason I'm still alive

placed in my powerless hands..

What would I do?

- feel blue, think green, shine yellow,

adventure queen.

1 a.m.

It's always sunny in Philadelphia
period!

Joy And Sorrow

Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."

And he answered:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

This is from the book The Prophet, written by Kahlil Gibran. Its filled with 26 poetic essays, basically about all different aspects of life. I find it interesting mostly because I can relate to it, well any human could relate to it, and it was written in 1923. I find it intriguing how something that was true in the 20's is still true in 2010. I love this section about sorrow and joy because it really makes you think. I love the idea that anything that will make you sorrowful will have once made you joyful. I love the line, "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." The idea that something that caused you so much pain, so much grief.. is simply going to let you hold so much passion and joy in the future. If you can hold on to something so agonizing you can as easily hold on to something that makes you content.

Hello, My Name Is..

I guess you can call me..

adventure queen.

I like it, it's catchy!

so, I'm a blogger??

something new.. something different!! Definitely out of my comfort zone. I'm not really one to go out there and write about my day. Although I guess you could say I have a lot to say! I love writing, absolutely adore it!! I've just never thought of sharing it.

But ya, i love writing poetry, and i thrive off of quotes that actually motivate me to think differently. I'm not a huge reader but sometimes i just get sucked in. Music is basically my saviour, except its more the lyrics than the music that I love. Lyrics inspire me, I love it!

I don't really know what I want to do with this, but hey i guess it could be fun. I don't really know who is going to read this, but maybe one day someone will care about what i have to say.

For now, it'll keep me busy!