the girl who barely said a word:

I'm not entirely sure what to think.  So much is going on in my life right now, that I feel like I'm constantly spinning.  I'm sure that even if I try to stop, try to catch a breath, even for a moment, everything will blast past me and I'll be more lost than before.  I feel overwhelmed.  I have things to worry about now that I've never had to before; I need to start thinking about where I am going to live next year, what university classes I am going to take, how I am going to save enough money for school this summer, and how I am going to hold it together leaving the one place I can call home.  Honestly, I'm freaking out. I can't decide if what I am worried about is valid or if I am all bent out of shape for nothing.  I realize that going off to school is an exciting step and I should be unbelievably smitten about the whole ordeal, but to be I feel like I have major preparing to do before reaching that point.  I am so happy at home right now, I have great friends, ones that live in milton, or belleville, or burlington, or smithsville, and of course oakville, some down the street, some near the lake, and I love them all.  Then I have my family, the people that I've never had to leave before.  I have so many great relationships here, and I'm sure I'll make more when I leave, but I am just in shock thinking about how I am supposed to be away from all this.   So much to think about, so much to do, so much school, so much coaching, and not enough time to catch up with everyone I'm going to miss the most.  I just can't believe I'm leaving.  I know I'll be back and its only for a few months a year, but things are going to change, people are going to change.  A part of me needs and wants this beyond belief, I want to see how I do on my own and who I become through this journey.  However the other part of my is thinking I'm finally happy, why now?  Now or Never.  I have to breathe, I know I'll be fine, and I'm about to jump into the best years of my life.. but I can't help but wonder if I can make the most of the next few months to avoid regrets in the next few years. Just a mini freak out, no big deal, I just need to calm down and enjoy today tomorrow and the next while :)