Details

The details aren't fun. I can just picture if and it pollutes my mind. It doesn't seem fair that you have to go through all this alone and I have to be alone hearing about it. All the details are painting a real picture and making all of this a whole lot scarier. I hope that when the storm passes and you aren't washed away too. I won't be strong enough to face that.  A part of me is glad I'm far from you because I'm certain i would be going a whole lot crazier having you near but not having the ability to see you and tell you I love you. I'm supposed to show you that I'm upset with you, disappointed, prove to you that you can't get away with this. But if I could see you. I'd hold you and cry. If I'm this scared I can't imagine how scared you are. I know you're fighting the people around you, but you don't mean it. You're lashing out because you're lost. You aren't sure what you're doing are you? No one understands you. But you're not giving them a chance to try. It's not defeat... Allow them to care the only way they know how. You haven't lost this isn't the end. This is recovery. And you're going to need us. I'm scared for you and my heart is breaking with each update. I only pray that you confront this monster and slay it. I only wish that you see the love that surrounds you and commit to not throwing that away again