Collaboration

A new project I'm working on, is a poem where my partner and I will alternate stanzas.  We've agreed on a subject, and we've started a rough beginning of it.  I am so excited to see how it turns out.  So far it seems to flow nicely.  Its going to need a lot of editing to ensure our two styles combine nicely.

Heavy in Your Arms- Florence + The Machine

And is it worth the wait, 

All this killing time? 

Are you strong enough to stand, 

Protecting both your heart and mine? 

Who is the betrayer Who's the killer in the crowd? 

The one who creeps in corridors 

And doesn't make a sound 

My love has concrete feet, my love is an iron ball 

Wrapped around your ankles, over the waterfall

Tasteless Lies

Let me draw you a picture.  
Its simple, 
Its reality in my eyes.
Innocence is rekindled,
And terribly smothered.


How can one moment,
of purity,
project such a hostile image?
Once I tell you my story,
its turned to ash.
Leaving nothing
but remains of 
distorted clarity.


Do you seek answers
to mistaken events?
Are you on edge because of what you know?
Or from what you fear to find out?


Look at the big picture.
Look at the person I am.
The melody I live by.
Can you still look so smug?
Wipe it off your face.


How come when
we say we do, we don't?
How can we say we will...
We won't.
End this phase of
tasteless lies.


-feel blue, think green shine yellow,
adventure queen.

fame, its righteous.

gahhhh

Things change so quickly.
I posted such a positive not a day ago, and suddenly I just feel differently.  Thats the thing about living a drama filled life.. things just go from highs straight to lows.  I've been having an off day.  Just on edge, covered in hives.. I cant focus.. and I feel down.


Hearing the opinions of others about me..and hearing them try to define how much they love me.. it made me realize how much family means to me.  I always value friendships and I love building new relationships.. but after losing such a important person in my life.. in my family, it was hard for me to venture all that.  But hearing how much I mean to you helps.. hearing the truth and your honest opinion on my actions.. keeps me grounded.


just one of those days.. luckily writing is ridiculously therapeutic for me!

happy.. finally

Such a surreal feeling.  You know when you can't wipe the smile off your face, even if you tried?  I wouldn't give up this warm feeling for anything, I feel like I've been waiting to feel this way for a while.  It's weird, so much shit had been falling apart around me, and normally by getting involved I would fall in to a dark slump, and become a bigger mess than the people around me, its a weakness I have.. I care and dwell over everything and I let it beat me up.  But lately, I've been handling everything, I've been doing my best to be there for people and give advice, or just listen, anything really, I'm keeping my grades up and I'm only slightly stressed out haha!  This is a CHANGE.  For those people who know me well, they know that I can get pretty out of control, That I have the ability to truly turn into an insane monster, simply nuts.  But I'm happy, and I'm coping, and I'm helping.. and I feel strong, I feel appreciated and I feel good! I'm smiling... who knew. 


...I feel a dance party coming on

Accepted?

Its official, I just completed my first application to Dalhousie University.... woahhhhh!!! I feel so old.. but I'm also soo excited, now I just wait for an email from the school with next steps about transcripts and stuff...ahhh sooo scary

Love The Way You Lie Part 2- Rihanna ft. Eminem

This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
hush baby, speak softly, tell me I’ll be sorry that you
pushed me into the coffee table last night so I can push you off me
try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
run out the room and I’ll follow you like a lost puppy
baby, without you, I’m nothing, I’m so lost, hug me
then tell me how ugly I am, but that you’ll always love me
then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
destructive path that we’re on, two psychopaths but we
know that no matter how many knives we put in each other’s backs
that we’ll have each other’s backs, ’cause we’re that lucky
together, we move mountains, let’s not make mountains out of molehills,
you hit me twice, yeah, but who’s countin’
I may have hit you three times, I’m startin’ to lose count
but together, we’ll live forever, we found the youth fountain
our love is crazy, we’re nuts, but I refused counselin’
this house is too huge, if you move out I’ll burn all two thousand
square feet of it to the ground, ain’t shit you can do about it
with you I’m in my fuckin’ mind, without you, I’m out it

I know what I don't deserve.

I now know.


I know what I don't deserve.


I can officially say, that my writing has been cherished in ways, I never thought possible.  Two of the most important people in my life today, have chosen to cherish my writing on them forever.  Two separate pieces, two separate stories and two completely different love shared between us.  My writing has been tattooed on two amazing girls.  I know that this is something that I do not deserve.  I don't write to change lives, in fact I started writing to save myself.  I never thought that in all the time spent pouring out emotion and defining my feelings, i would be sitting here today, knowing that my writing is held so dearly. I can honestly say that I do not deserve such praise, such honour, that I do not write for reaction.  I write because I care.  I write because I cannot get my thoughts straight.  I write because I love you.  I write because without writing, I can't define what my life is... what your life is.  I write because i'm reaching out. I'm writing because I love to.  I do not deserve these results.. no one asks for this.  But if i lost it.. if i questioned the meaning of my writing, if it was all un clear.. i would be without a doubt devastated. dead.


Losing something you don't deserve..
It's painful.

what are you waiting for

Do you ever have a realization, where you finally see whats important.  A moment that alters your thinking completely, making the things that once made you cringe with anxiety and stress, simmer down... slim to nothing now.  And the things that you had been taking for granted magnify, as if they are without question the only thing you should be thinking about.. devoting your time to.  Do you find that these moments effect you directly or is it someone close to you need saving?


I vow to look at the big picture more often, I hate how easy it is to get consumed in your own personal life, that you draw away from your surroundings and miss out on whats truly important.  I will brush off mundane days and not get distracted by minor frustrations.  At the end of it all, is it really worth your time...


Be sure to pay attention to what life is really about.

Im losing what I don't deserve..

Im losing what I don't deserve..


The feeling of luck knowing you have something, 
How can you define what you deserve?
Is it a judgement on who you've become or who you've been?
Can't you truly be certain of the things you deserve in life..
Should I believe that those who are starving never deserved to be fed,
or that those who can't be heard, don't deserve to be listened to?
How can you say, that if you lost something you didn't deserve.. that it wouldn't phase you?
Surely you'd be pleased of having it, would you not feel it when it was ripped away?
To deserve means to do something or have or show qualities worthy of reward or punishment..
Should I know if i'm worthy of this?
Is it simple to know? That the one thing that is lost, is a reward or punishment meant for someone more worthy..
Do you feel lucky?
Do you feel it slipping through your fingers.. 
Are you deserving?
Have you lost?
...why aren't you worthy of this.


How does it feel to lose something you don't deserve?

On you forever

On you forever.
A tattoo stays on you for the rest of your time.


Recently, someone extremely close to me, did something that I think changes the power of my words forever.  She took a line from my piece Comfort Zone and got it tattooed on her ankle.  I nearly lost my mind when she showed me.  She surprised me too.  What an amazing feeling to know that someone wants your thoughts, a piece of your heart, your perception, your opinion, your ambitions and passion, your raw words on them forever.  I felt so respected and special to know that she wanted me with where ever she went.  I am basking in this unreal feeling for as long as I can.  And without letting it go to my head, I want to take this gratitude and flattery and channel it into more pieces and improved writing... I can't get over how honoured I am to be apart of such an exceptional girl.

Burning In The Skies- Linkin Park

We held our breath when the clouds began to form
But you were lost in the beating of the storm
And in the end we were made to be apart
The seperate chambers of the human heart

Fight

Thrown in the ring,
forced against unwilling defeat.
Outwitted and pierced to floors,
you beat the world,
swearing its the last.

Your strength, maims the
death within.
Consumed by power,
a vast hold on cogent screams,
standing alone fighting
yourself.

Never ending,
victory forgotten,
All you wanted was
a taste of innocence.

As the fight plays..
Inside; Your momentum
for life grows stronger,
passion breaking through.
Such alien beauty.

Surely you stand,
tragically pristine,
only to say you fought the greatest.

You are forever intact.
-feel blue, thinks green, shine yellow

adventure queen

(all i wanted- paramore)

As If By Magic- La Roux

Submerging from your world
And back into my bliss
A day rolled into one
Is burning on my lips
Blurring all your words
Until they don't exist
And in a parallel universe
It's me you can't resist

Closer- Kings of Leon

You, shimmy shook my bone
Leaving me stranded all in love on my own
What do you think of me
Where am I now? Baby where do I sleep
Feel so good but I'm old,
2000 years of chasing taking its toll

And it’s coming closer

Something to keep

There are patterns on the wall,

and clear signs of where I should fall,

Yet just placed in front, you are a silhouette,

Blue eyes manage to hold onto, nothing at all.

Glazed over and pierced right through,

you see things I can't get to.

Yet  fading;  I become slightly  transparent.

Gray and dead now, I wait for my queue.

Alive and breathing, let me stay 

I cannot be your remains or left over decay.

Yet useless and disappearing still, I'm cringing news.

Believing in the promise and light you portray.

Sprung on like an attack,

Bleak and ruined, I'm to pick up your slack

Yet from you I'm told not to speak.

Wise mistakes and empty eyes, you can't turn back.

It's nothing much, but its something to hold onto.

something to keep and respond to,

Yet in future you lose it in tears

and when you fall, be sure that I've got you.

-feel blue, think green, shine yellow

adventure queen

I walk

Crisp chill
brushing against my cheek.
Slick surface unfolding
before I step.
Night sky terribly high,
barely sharing the stars.
Flooded by lamps,
the deserted roads;
I conquer.
I follow nothing,
and hear nothing,
eerie silence, and deep breaths.


I press play, and the music begins,
I walk the night.
I walk,
I walk forward,
because of you.
...I'm with you.


-feel blue, think green, shine yellow
adventure queen

Sorrow- Flyleaf

Sometimes life seems too quiet into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark, meant to make me strong.
Familiar breath of my old lies
Changed the color in my eyes
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

Can you see me?

Is it possible; to have your mind eat you whole?
Mow down on pure aggravation.
Can you physically allow your thoughts erase your existence?
Do you believe me? That I am nothing but the endless fuel to thought.
Is it fair; to wear your heart on your sleeve, just flaunt it?
Can you see me?
Or am i completely consumed by aching intentions,
And untouched impulses?
Isn't it lovely; the way I am fading?
Do you notice; the way I carry defeat?
I didn't know that was my brain that I held.
Who knew?


-feel blue, think green, shine yellow
adventure queen

I thrive 'cause of you

There is a moment that I search for in everyone, there is a warmth that fills inside me, healing the doubt I had mostly in myself but in you too.  I strive to find this moment as soon as I can, so that I can trust you and believe you and care about what you have to say.  I love this moment, I am relieved when I'm drowning in reasons are answers, provided by your presence.  This second is what makes you real, alive, in depth.  The instant when I see you for the first time.  Not you're obvious appearance, but what you're made of; your structure, the pieces that keep you standing on emotional days.  I love the moment where I know you beyond words, where I understand your posture and hesitations, your contagious smile and mundane days.  
Hurt, always, lovely, pain, never, trust,cry, scream, cruel, words, lost, laugh, won, smile, smile, smile, alive now.

can i go back to the girl who thinks about...

no inspiration.  it's the worst! I feel like life is sooo hectic at the moment, with school, jobs and university decisions creeping up too! I feel like I need to figure out the next 20 years in the next 20 seconds! But I've been giving things a lot of thought, and my brain is so fried! Hopefully things die down for a bit so I can get my mind straightened out, because I miss my ridiculous train of thought.. normally i'm not swamped with the stress of universities and jobs and what not.. I'd like to just go back and think about... whatever.

Calendar Girl, just a few more days..

206 days
4952 hours
297149 minutes
17828994 seconds
I'll be walking La CHAMPS ÉLYSÉES soon enough xox

Breathe Again- Sara Bareilles

All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one
Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again

Researching for my future?

And so it all begins...

Senior year, how ridiculous is that? Im taking my final classes in high school and within the next few months or maybe even weeks, I am supposed to know what I want to do with the rest of my life! I'm told to start looking at universities now!! gahh!!! it seems so surreal, I remember thinking how far I was from this in grade 11 and now it is just hitting me like a ton of bricks! I better get researching!!!

I'll let you know how that turns out...

Jar of Hearts- Christina Perri

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

meet you there, I know its dark out!

Another especially adventurous night for me last night.  I had a wonderful late night adventure with a girl that cant help but make me smile.  We saw Despicable Me which was an adorable movie, we fell in love with the witty humour.  I enjoyed the movie and i loved catching up with such an understanding and insightful gal! We definitely made our friday night extremely spontaneous and out of control.  We took silly pictures and had difficulties with not laughing.  all in all, i just realized how much friends mean to me and when you are having a crummy day, its a great idea to see a cute movie, eat some chocolate and make silly faces at the lens staring back at you! 

It's ironic status

The Arc de Triomphe is recognized as a symbol of Parisian pomp and elegance around the globe. Erected by the Emperor Napoleon in 1806 to commemorate France's military prowess, the 50 meter/164 foot tall Arc de Triomphe crowns the west end of the Champs-Elysées, the city's most famous avenue, at the juncture known as the Etoile (star), where 12 prestigious avenues radiate out from the arch.

Because of its significant place in Paris history-- evoking both joyful and dark historical memories-- and its iconic status, the Arc de Triomphe is found on any list of Paris' top tourist attractions.

The best time to visit the arch is after 6:30 p.m., when the flame of the unknown soldier is lit and the Champs-Elysées is bathed in shimmering lights. From the observation deck at the top of the arch, breathtaking views of the Eiffel Tower, the Sacré Coeur, and the Louvre are also in store.

1840: The ashes of Napoleon I are transferred to the Arc de Triomphe.

1940: Adolph Hitler and Nazi forces march on the Champs Elysées under the arch, dramatically marking the beginning of a four-year occupation.

Romance Is..- Lights

Slow it all down, the damage is done
Play the music loud, don't make a sound
Let's raise a toast to a sad story
In a dirty cup, in a dirty cup
You made it, you made it hurt so bad
You made it hurt so bad

With a little poison we can burn this whole place down to ground again...

pg. 461 and I finally know why!

I finished the book Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis about one minute thirty seconds ago, and I am in awe with how sucked in i was reading this autobiography.  It was so interesting, and it covered so many subjects that you never found yourself bored with the literature.  I loved learning about the Chili Peppers and how they started and formed and broke up, and reunited and so on.  I loved learning about the stories and meanings behind my favourite songs by Red Hot.  But the most interesting part to me as I'm sure anyone would find, is reading and journeying through Anthony's serious drug addiction.  So many up and downs following this man's lifestyle, and I learned a lot by reading about heroine, cocaine, relapsing, detox, rehab and thankfully sobriety.


 Something that I found I could relate to, was Anthony's want to feel pleasure.  Not that I search for insane ways or habits to receive desired satisfaction, however I feel anyone can lose their way while searching for something they cherish.  I think it's important for people to know that anything you want in life you must earn.  In no way are you going to find the purity of pleasure in situations involving drugs, money, crime, or negativity.  And this quote to me drew the line between the right and wrong way to have pleasure on a daily basis.

“I’ve wanted to feel pleasure to the point of insanity. they call it getting high, because it’s wanting to know that higher level, that godlike level. you want to touch the heavens, you want to feel glory and euphoria, but the trick is that it takes work. you can’t buy it, you can’t get it on a street corner, you can’t steal it or inject it or shove it up your ass, you have to earn it.” (Pg 461- Anthony Kiedis)

To: A friend of mine, I think you're a special jem!

A little shout out to the beautiful, brilliant girl who introduced me to the song Givin' Up the Gun- Vampire Weekend... please my dear give this song a good listen! I believe it will become your soundtrack while roaming greece! Miss you my friend and please enjoy, yours truly xxo

She once said she loved to read.

Slammerkin- Emma Donoghue

Hero of the Underground- Jason Peter Memoir

The Picture of Dorian Gray- Oscar Wilde

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
The Girl Who Played with Fire                     - Stieg Larsson

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest

A Million Little Pieces

My Friend Leonard -    James Frey Memoirs

I better get reading.

Call It Off- Tegan & Sara

love love love.

Her name stays engraved on the Eiffel Tower

The Eiffel Tower taken shortly after the end of World War II, in June of 1945

The Eiffel Tower was built for the World Exhibition in 1889, held in celebration of the French Revolution in 1789.

The construction was only meant to last for the duration of the Exposition, but it still stands today, despite all protests from contemporary artists who feared the construction would be the advent of structures without 'individuality' and despite the many people who feared that this huge 'object' would not fit into the architecture of Paris.


The tower was almost torn down in 1909, but was saved because of its antenna used both for military and other purposes, and the city let it stand after the permit expired. When the tower played an important role in capturing the infamous spy Mata Hari during World War I, it gained such importance to the French people that there was no more thought of demolishing it.- used for telegraphy at that time.

1940-1944

Upon the German occupation of Paris in 1940, the lift cables were cut by the French so that Adolf Hitler would have to climb the steps to the summit. The parts to repair them were allegedly impossible to obtain because of the war. In 1940 German soldiers had to climb to the top to hoist the swastika, but the flag was so large it blew away just a few hours later, and was replaced by a smaller one. When visiting Paris, Hitler chose to stay on the ground. It was said that Hitler conquered France, but did not conquer the Eiffel Tower. A Frenchman scaled the tower during the German occupation to hang the French flag. In August 1944, when the Allieswere nearing Paris, Hitler ordered General Dietrich von Choltitz, the military governor of Paris, to demolish the tower along with the rest of the city. Von Choltitz disobeyed the order. The lifts of the Tower were working normally within hours of the Liberation of Paris.

Gustave Eiffel engraved on the tower seventy-two names of French scientists, engineers and other notable people. This engraving was painted over at the beginning of the twentieth century but restored in 1986–1987 

paris paris paris j'adore!

So I recently recieved the news I've been waiting to hear since I was a little girl wearing my "I heart paris" pajama pants! I was told that I will be spending a beautiful week in Paris, France next April.  And as if that wasn't enough, it just so happens that my 18th birthday falls on that exceptional dream week.  I'll be leaving home base on April 10th and will be staying in blissful France until the 17th.  That is exactly 7 days to fully experience everything I want to before returning home!


My Mom and I have decided that in the next 9 months, for each pay check we receive we will set aside about fifty dollars and exchange them for euros, to help us prevent from spending! This will leave us with enough money to shop, rent a car, visit museums and what not!  We want to enter France with a great idea of what we want to see and experience and have enough money to do it all!  I'm going to be working hard to fulfill this dream I've had since i was a little girl, and make it possible to exceed all high expectations I've set!


I'm going to add a whole new segment to my blog called her finest collection of paris dreams, I'll be posting anything i learn about paris or france, things I would love to see, places where i need to be! I would love help as well so feel free to comment on my posts and suggest dreams of your own! I want to visit paris and leave with the biggest smile on my face, and know that i'll be back! 


My journey begins today..  paris paris paris j'adore! 
la jeune fille prend ses premiers pas dans un monde qu'elle ne pouvait que rêver.

Quickly before it starts raining

ahh, I cannot get used to this shaky weather.  It is so indecisive; yesterday it was burning and i was in the pool just about all day... yet today I'm wrapped up nicely, listening to the thunder roaring above! I hope things smarten up soon, cause I want to be outside! I'm all prepared for adventures.. now give me sun.

I have an idea

Brilliant Ideas, are the spontaneous decisions you make with your best friend completely aware of the ridiculousness of it all!  My friend and I had a brilliant idea to bike all the way to the green bean not-so-local-coffee-shop this morning.  We thought it would be a nice morning, we could catch up exchange stories and enjoy a nice summer day outside.  Instead we got got in a torrential down pour and were riding down town soaked from head to toe.  It took us 35 minutes to arrive and an hour to return home becuase it was up hill the entire way!  We could have complained or not gone at all, instead we put on a smile and enjoyed the fact that we were two complete idiots biking in the rain! brilliant ideas are the ones you cant believe you follow through on.

They Don't Care About Us- Michael Jackson

Beat me, hate me
You can never break me
Will me, thrill me
You can never kill me
Jew me, sue me
Everybody do me
Kick me, kike me
Don't you black or white me

All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don't really care about us

updates on many little trinkets

late nights, one after another! Except the beauty is, they are all care free! I've had a pleasant start to my sunny vacation, as it has been above 30 degrees the past while.  I am absolutely in awe with how hot it actually is, its suicidal not to lotion while being out there!  


I've been doing a lot of red hot chili peppers already this summer; I've been cranking them on shuffle while the hot pool boys work next door, and I've been throughly enjoying Anthony Kiedis' autobio Scar Tissue.  Learning the tales of the band, is so entertaining to me, I end up bringing it up with anyone I'm talking to! 


I plan on reading another book called Slammerkin by Emma Donoghue, which was recommended to me! I hope to get a few books down this summer, which isn't normally a goal of mine haha!


Top highlight so far this July, is most  definitely gay pride 2010.  Such a riot, I don't think I've ever been surrounded with an exceptional amount of people that were so careless and willing to let go! I found myself so happy to be there because it was such a fun crowd.  With the drag queens and the over the top gays and the bi's and the straight couples, it was great being surrounded by all types and feel anything but tension.

Ahh loving summer 2010

the sunny season has her smiling

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time.

Ipod on the go, lets lay it out.. its summer!

summer is here and I couldn't be happier! no more late nights studying or early mornings riding the bus for a while! The school year came to a halt today and i have the biggest grin on my face! Unfortunately some of my friends are traveling all summer, which I am totally jealous of, but I do plan on having an eventful summer! I want to see lots of people, take lots of pictures and do things that are just plain pointless! Im excited to lay out by my pool and sing along to the ipod!! My biggest worry now is coming up with a top notch playlist! Im totally feeling A Fine Frenzy, Tegan and Sara and maybe a little Marina and the Diamonds! I can already tell im going to be busy busy busy this fine sunny season!! Im going to try and update as much as I can so my friends AROUND THE WORLD can here about my kick ass local summer vacation! So here is to the very beginning of summer 2010! Im ready to soak it all in ;)

4.14 Sad Songs For Dirty Lovers

“Do you ever wonder if we make the moments in our lives or if the moments in our lives make us?”

Delight

"These violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die like fire and powder which as they kiss consume"

The Lottery- Emily Haines

I only wanted what everyone wanted 

since bras started burning up ribs in the 60's. 

Favors are flying, faces are falling, 

all I desire is to never be waiting. 

If that’s a crime let’s commit it. 

There’s a new crime, sexual suicide. 

When our underwire radio tears into their international airwaves 

Boredom will Die! Ears will Bleed! 

All they desire is to give and to please.

Act 3, Scene 2

Be innocent of the knowledge, dearest chuck,
Till thou applaud the deed. Come, seeling night,
Scarf up the tender eye of pitiful day;
And with thy bloody and invisible hand
Cancel and tear to pieces that great bond
Which keeps me pale! Light thickens; and the crow
Makes wing to the rooky wood:
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse; 
While night's black agents to their preys do rouse.
Thou marvell'st at my words: but hold thee still;
Things bad begun make strong themselves by ill.
So, prithee, go with me.

The Cure- Tegan & Sara

Screaming like no one might call the cops and

arrest you this time.
Standing back against my building's back door,

you're hoping for a ride.

I know the world's been mean to you,

I've got a cure, hold tight.
I know the world's not fair to you,

I've got a cure for it's crimes.

All I dreamed up, all that seemed like luck seems silly to you now.
All I said to you, all I did for you seems so silly to me now.

Blame It On The Rain- He is We

Maybe im alone in this
But I find peace in solitude knowing if
I had but just one kiss this whole room would be glowing
We'd be glowing
We'd be glowing

Act 5, Scene 5

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Listen Up

walking with the ghost....

tegan and sara!

Check it out

only to crush you into smithereens.

you're arguing with someone.. and i mean really arguing! And you feel like you're fighting for something that's truly life altering, you won't give it up, and you are completely heated. All you see is your side of the story, you won't even bother to look around to see what else is out there! You are drunk with fury over it all. It starts to ruin your day, as you see everything spiraling down. You are in shock with the words escaping your mouth and from hers. When finally you just give it up, no forgiving or forgetting just a solid time out. You catch your breath, maybe even go for a cruise, totally cool off... and you realize that what you're arguing.. what your fighting for means nothing. What matters is the things you're losing with every rude word and nasty remark. What you should be watching out for are the good times never coming, because you bitched out. You think about what you have and things begin to clear up. Not only are you calm but you are actually considering the other side of the story... her side, her life, her troubles. And a sudden weight just drops from the sky only to crush you into smithereens. You're starting to realize how selfish you've been and oblivious to her and her situation. Its a good thing you know you have something special.. a lot of people don't have anything with anyone to be proud of. But you're proud.. you know the two of you together create a masterpiece, that yea you'll argue and act like you don't care but at the end of the day, when the mood washes away, you know she's the one you'll run too. You are well aware she's the only one that knows you, and you certainly aren't ready to stop smiling. And now that she's got the darkness following her, you need to step up! Soon enough the two of you will be sharing lyrics and jamming to god knows what.. and you'll just look at each other and know that nothing can change, that you can bitch and fight all day long, but the more you fight the more there is to live for... to prove to one another.. and you both know that you were made for each other!

you're drawing crazy on my face.

to bleed with no recollection.
without red, or seen impurities.
beyond bad days, and forced smiles.
to bleed out, but not know at all.
to cry with no major sob
tears tracing the contours of my face
eliminating the crazy.

in control, and losing it.
level headed, and envious.

I'll smile, and know why I'm faking
grunt and scream, to feel alive
and alone you'll find me searching.
I figure your answers are weak
and my questions are rhetorical.
listening is habit,
you're drawing crazy on my face.

in truth, and lying to you.
seeking right, and you give me wrong

-feel blue, think green, shine yellow
adventure queen.

but he cannot give you his understanding.

Then said a teacher, "Speak to us of Teaching."

And he said:

No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of our knowledge.

The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faith and his lovingness.

If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.

The astronomer may speak to you of his understanding of space, but he cannot give you his understanding.

The musician may sing to you of the rhythm which is in all space, but he cannot give you the ear which arrests the rhythm nor the voice that echoes it.

And he who is versed in the science of numbers can tell of the regions of weight and measure, but he cannot conduct you thither.

For the vision of one man lends not its wings to another man.

Kahlil Gibran.

collect glee.

flaws designed just for him,
obsessions to erase failure
and collect glee.
Complete restraint against
angst; he'll lead you to sanctuary.
perceived as royal trend,
lovely lashes blinking away
textures to rough to bare.
He only sees what isn't there,
flicker of hope gleams from you all.
He'll be our saviour, he'll meet
and exceed.
Seems like love.
falling falling falling falling
he'll catch you.
bombard our world and raid us with
something precious.
obsessions to erase failure
and collect glee.
He'll be here forever
only you cannot see.


- feel blue, think green, shine yellow
adventure queen.

Everyday is Exactly the Same- Nine Inch Nails

I'm writing on a little piece of paper

I'm hoping someday you might find

Well I'll hide it behind something

They won't look behind

I'm still inside here

A little bit comes bleeding through

I wish this could have been any other way

But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do

words left untouched

Words for words,
Traded routines,
l borrow lifestyles

and sink into temporary grief.

Not only writing to please
but for future.
Cracks formed in pavement;
my words will hide.
But I'll speak to those who
find all treasure not in greed
but in pure coincidence.
Found in rich soil; words left untouched.

Unread messages on count
I find comfort in the sole image
of you screaming.
Not in pain but in
emphasis.
Not in hate but in
spite.

You'll find me.
Not tangible
but in script.

And you'll recognize the possibility of slipping into foreign sensation.

-feel blue, think green, shine yellow
adventure queen.

I'll be seeing you

Eyes only meant to perceive beauty.

Distorted oasis; completely irrelevant

To where you need to be.

To grasp onto something,

Fighting for life, but

A marvel to see struggling

To see you; remember that face.

Organic hope, once lost,

And nearly found.

Believing in all that

Shines, in all that

Constantly energizes today.

Blind to hollow days.

Careless to quick fixes.

Prescribe me a full blown

Rush of silence. Full of

Symphonies of tears and cheers.

Dizzy with intelligence.

Await a passenger

In this continuing plot.

I’ll be seeing you.

I’ll definitely be seeing you.

-feel blue, think green, shine yellow

adventure queen