I'm tired of nonsense

I'm tired of...

playing the victim.

feeling sad because

i've lost someone.

wondering why they did it.

pretending i'm not afraid.

knowing i'm lying.

stealing.

losing sleep over 

trivial things.

wanting to be some place

but not having the resources.

being injured.

not running.

picturing what he found.

sitting in depressing classes

about how people will never

act differently.

knowing that our future is 

scary.

planning.

lists.

meetings.

feeling like i'm blah.

your questions.

the word governance.

forgetting that in 30 years

it won't matter.

not being kissed.

putting other things before 

more important things.

being tired.

being sick.

feeling thrown around

by

my

own

mind.

To my lovely..

To my lovely,

I want you to know
that I know you're struggling.
I can see you're struggling.
It's ok.

You're beautiful,
so bold, you're my girl.
Yet, you keep so distant from me!
I promise you I'm ready to squeeze you.

Ask for help,
tell me whats on that brain of yours.
I'm tired of small talk.
This isn't us.

We are supposed to be 
how we always are.
I want to watch ridiculous movies,
and have tea, 
talk about boys,
joke about what is our lives.

I complain and you justify,
I justify, and you dig for the truth.
You tell the truth, and I return it.
We love, we laugh, we're us.

I know I haven't been 
all there either, but 
apart of me doesn't
want to touch all the nonsense.
Maybe you don't want to either.

But I know nothing.
I don't know how your night 
out was.
You don't tell me funny stories,
Do you forget that I care?
The small things are what
makes a friendship,
so tell me when you embarrassed yourself,
or when you got way too drunk,
or when you forgot about your midterm.

I miss you,
and not because I'm here
and you're there
but because we aren't anywhere.

I'm lost without my friend.
Lets go to the baseball game

Sincerely,
me

new girl ah!

sick n tiresome

im tired of...
people
who are so self involved.
waking up and
feeling groggy.
using the same vocabulary.
stale music.
the cold.
feeling like i need to..
planning my days.
my hesitance.
grocery shopping.
losing my keys.
banging the shampoo bottle
in order to get it to come out.
over analyzing behaviour.
needing company to be satisfied.
being there instead of here.
not meeting the new and fun.
sleepless nights.

im thrilled with...
my workout plan.
the smoothie i made this morning.
how much i laughed today.
the potential new winter coat
i may find.
all my blogging.
my dads new interest in working out.
flirting innocently.
my roomies and my lovely home.
the positive memories replacing the blah.
my dope doodle i did in class.
the fact that i love all my classes.
the addition to gymnastics into
my halifax life.
the florence kick I'm on.
feeling sexy.
the motown playlist i danced to today.
my precious sisters.
my snap chats.
my comfy bed.
being a complete weirdo.
the seconds to come.

the lonesome we all require

My found quietude..
where the innocence within rests.
I sing the melodies
of my pure existence.

In a hazy
raw
truth,
you'll find me.
basking in the lonesome.

Here I lay for
discovery.
the pulse from
the "else where"
is simply denied.

This is where time
collapses,
where the smoke lingers,
where I float.
This is my lonesome.

the lonesome we all require

- feel blue, think green, shine yellow,
adventure queen

Cons get sexy workout/day1

35 min running
Stretch

- 20 leg swings
- 20 hip raises
- 20 box jumps
X3

- 20 lunges ea. leg
- 40 squats
X3

- 1 min plank
X3

- 1 min leg raises
X2

- 1 min bicycle
X2

10  min spinning
Stretch

this smoothie is divine

- boathouse strawberry banana and greens smoothie juice
- 1/2 a banana
- few spinach leaves
- lots of blueberries
- pinch of hemp seeds
- little bit of plain yogurt

try it! yummy

read write enjoy

in love for twenty four hours

one day

what would you do if you could feel your passion's greatest potential for twenty four hours?

sometimes i imagine what i might be like if i could capture a moment containing love in its entirety.

that kind that makes you yearn, beg and plead for it to never leave your insides.

to be completely vulnerable to that someone and only recognize yourself as whole when you're against each other. 

I'm certain that i am capable of such raw emotion.

I know that my toes would curl and my heart would crave..

Could anyone handle being so far for not so long? 

And what might I be like when its a feeling of infinite loss?

Only twenty four hours

would you wish for it?

Stompa- Serena Ryder

Cannot help but dance 

adventure queen

adventure queen
a girl full of passion
she will not deny the pure
she does not fake a smile
a girl pretty in truth
she will let time escape
and she will never regret
a girl you lose in great depths
a mind powerful and complex
a girl no one fails to believe in
she's sweet and loving
a love unlike anything common
she will capture you
and she will find your gold
never thinking twice
she will accept today
she will paint pictures
and unveil poems in days
she is
and will be
lost
in
hazel mazes