?

I've been toying so much with the heaviness,
Those ideas that are not my own.
The pressures to identify exactly what something is
As if the fact that its special,
just won't suffice.

This dark cloud follows me around.

But when I breathe, and I'm me,
and I'm with you,
Its peachy,
I love it, actually.

So, why not be my best self?
Let the clouds clear..
Be the girl that sees the best in people,
and isn't afraid to just simply be.

I know,
I feel,
And I smile.

If I know only the truth,
If I feel lovely,
If my cheeks ache when I leave you..

As of right now,
what the fuck is the problem?

I should

A daily challenge.
I go to sleep with you on my brain,
therefore,
I dream of you.
Then I wake up thinking about you.

I've been thinking about you.
To say the very least.
The worst part is,
is I don't like thinking about you anymore.

This special special pull
I had toward you,
feels awful now.
It is the reason I can't leave
And the reason why I liked you so
very much.

When I talk to you now,
its fake..
and I'm pretending.
This is turning into such a mess.

I need to leave.
But how do I do that,
when I can't shake the fact
that maybe it won't just be for now.

If I see you,
to talk this through
I'll stab you in the heart.
You'll know I'm leaving for good.

You've made me think that I can't leave you.
I can
And
I should

fuck.

go read it all ..

I don't understand.

You killed her.
you took her made her feel loved
and then left.
And not in a classy way.

You are scum.
I want to punch you.
You're so terrible.
you fucked with her
And that is
cruel.

If you only knew..
just the pain and agony you've
cause this beautiful girl.
Shed treading, and doing her best,
but you destroyed her.

fuck you.
fuck you.
go fuck yourself.

I want you to read her words
and feel like a piece of garbage.

You probably have zero clue.
none.
that you are worthless.

it hurts

didn't you ever learn, not to break a heart
you never earned?

Time of Death...

Voices of opinion creep in to my life
and they paint this picture that
I won't fathom.
Entertaining the ideas of you draped in
the terrible,
I'm simply not capable of it.

I've weaved this web of ideas,
what will be.
Why would I want that?
Waking each morning wondering,
is today the day?

Its cruel to torture yourself
in such a way.
You are being selfish,
keeping me but not holding me.

I can walk,
and I will
because this feeling
is scraping away
what was good about it.

I don't want people in my ear.
It makes me defend you.
And I shouldn't have to.
You're doing what you can
and you've been speaking
kindly and honestly.

I need out.
I need to protect myself.
But i am so challenged by
the plague of not ever seeing you again.

I can't half be in your life.
It will crash and burn.
I won't volunteer to ruin a beautiful feeling and memory.

I was happy,
now,
I don't like this.

I call the time of death.
Move on.
You lost me.

'miss you already'

I'd say it to you, but I lost your number...

I have this feeling of relief.
Like i've been stressed over this situation for far too long
I know I did the right thing, because it was really tough to do.
I'm not playing it safe, I'm taking a risk.

I know that this has been a roller coaster from the get go,
but thats because i scared you.
I made you feel.
you like me, and you hate it.

So what now?
well, you find your way,
I'll do me.
Sure, it isn't an easy task,
but I need to be happy on my own anyway,

I don't regret a single thing.
I was honest with you from the start.
I did and felt everything for a reason.

I don't need to be caught in this mess with you.
Its all your mess.
I kissed you goodbye,
in hopes that I'd find your lips again someday

Im sure we will meet again, and we will have
a definitive answer.
See you never,
or lets be with each other fully.

Im excited to make that decision.
Not now,
so goodbye for now.

Please be smart,
and kind to yourself.
I want only for you to find your way.

Kels

Breeze

Stone cold,
quite petrified to leave you.
There is a natural pull,
it strings me to you.

The breeze,
embraces me,
louring me to the
space that exists
without you.

Your musk,
it makes me crave,
Let me curl into
you.

Those eyes of yours,
they paint me as cute.
Why won't the ill
wash over you now?
Please wash away.

It's there though,
it dances between us.
I can't help but grin,
as it gleams.


Lusting your lips,
Let me steal a bit of you.


I'm with the breeze now.
miss you already..